Reflecting on Mortality
I’m recalling a childhood game: “Heavy, heavy hangs over thy head.” In a little more than a week I’ll probably have a long, complicated surgery that poses considerable risk, considering my age and my general health. So, last night I began wondering how I should feel if this might possibly be my last week of life.
There is still the possibility that my pre-operative examination will prove that my body is not up to the surgery, and other treatment will be offered.
I’m feeling a little sad that I haven’t cleared more clutter out of my life, leaving the job of disposing of all my stuff to my children. I’m feeling good that I’ve organized my finances and paper work so that the transition of those matters should be relatively smooth.
I regret that it’s possible I won’t have many questions about what’s going on in the universe answered. Will humanity come to its senses and stop destroying its environment? Will this country be taken over by another? Has that already happened?
I’m glad that I may not have to watch more of the suffering that is becoming universal. It’s obvious that we are becoming a nation of have-a-lots and have-nots, with a small group in between.
Since I can no longer afford to support candidates and causes financially, I have been giving moral support by clicking online links to express my opinion. I’m giving that up immediately, at least temporarily, to be picked up later, if possible.
As my son said to me, “It’s all about you now.” I’m ready for that.